Why Do I Always Pick at My Fingers? (And What Helps Instead)
- Alissa Hanlon
- 5 days ago
- 5 min read
Happy Friday, Beautiful Peoples!
I'm starting something new!
Featured Fidget Fridays.
Every Friday, I'll tell you the story behind one of my fidgets.
Why I made it. Who I made it for. How people use it.
And maybe most importantly... Why it matters.
Every fidget has a story.
Every Friday, I'll share one.
All Things Sensory Shop started at craft shows. I got to talk to people every show and help them understand what type of fidget they needed, why their bodies were doing this or why their brain did that. I miss it sooo much! So…welcome to Feature Fidget Fridays!
This week, we're starting with the fidget that has probably helped more people redirect skin picking than any other product I've ever made: the Stretchy Loom Band Picking Fidget. I’m going to focus on the “stretchy” version since it’s the most popular and the original picking fidget in my shop.
Why Do I Pick at Things?
One of the things I got asked a lot at shows (and now on socials) is if I have anything to help with skin picking. Picking is incredibly common among neurodivergent people, but honestly, almost everyone picks at something from time to time.
The difference is how often it happens and whether it's causing harm. Not everyone picks for the same reason. It can be your hands needing something to do out of boredom, can be triggered by stress, sensory seeking, emotional regulation, concentration, or just a habit that developed over time. Some are just your way of fidgeting, while others can cause harm to yourself or your belongings.
“Picking” stims show up in many ways:
Have you ever looked down and realized you've been picking at the skin around your nails without even noticing?
(Most people do this from time to time. When it becomes difficult to control or starts causing harm, it may be diagnosed as dermatillomania. I'll link some information here if you'd like to learn more.)
Or maybe you've shredded a napkin?
Peeled the label off a water bottle?
Found yourself pulling apart a hoodie string during a movie?
Maybe you’ve been pulling out pieces of hair? Eyebrows? Eyelashes?
(Most people do this from time to time. When it becomes difficult to control or starts causing harm, it may be diagnosed as trichotillomania. I'll link some information here if you'd like to learn more.)
My Story With Picking
I used to spend hours picking out the little pieces of paper that got left behind in a spiral notebook after you ripped a sheet out. It wasn’t just neatness. It was a need. For me, it started as boredom and turned into a coping mechanism in school to self-regulate. I couldn’t tap my pen, I couldn’t bounce my legs, I couldn’t chew my pencil erasers (gross, I know. We all did it! Don’t judge me! LOL).
So, “being neat” and cleaning up my notebook became my thing. Any classroom-friendly fidget probably would have redirected that problem before it graduated to picking the skin on my arms and nails. Before I started pulling out eyebrows and eyelashes multiple times a day. Before I started finding the tiniest amount of string in my clothes and unraveling the hems and seams.
Not only did I not understand what was happening, why it was happening (or that it was even a thing I should be looking to understand), but there weren’t things around then to help with that. It was frustrating that I couldn’t not do the thing.
At some point, it stopped feeling like a choice.
When Picking Starts Hurting Instead of Helping
If I saw a string, I had to pick and pull at it. If I had a piece of skin on my fingers, I would pull it until it was causing immense pain and I was bleeding and would need a bandage. Even if I wasn’t in a stressful situation, it needed to be done. Now, not everyone picks in a compulsive way. For some people, it’s just an enjoyable way to stim and it’s not harmful in any way whatsoever! That’s great! Not all picking is bad.
If it’s something you enjoy, awesome! If it’s something that you need, but you're causing harm to yourself…we need to find a safe way for you to do the picking. We need to redirect.
For years, I honestly thought I just lacked self-control. I started wearing stretchy bracelets, charm bracelets, necklaces with little chains, etc. All things I could pick at. I didn’t ever realize in the moment that I was redirecting! It wasn't until I learned about stimming and sensory regulation that everything clicked. I wasn't trying to damage my fingers. My brain was trying to meet a need. Once I understood that, I stopped asking, "How do I stop?" and started asking, "What can I give my hands instead?"
How the Stretchy Loom Picking Fidget was Born
And that, my friends, is exactly where the Loom Picking Fidgets began! Just because your stim is causing you harm or pain doesn’t mean it’s bad! It doesn’t mean you have to “just stop” doing it. It means we need to find a way for you to stim safely. That’s the important thing!
I’ve had so many people tell me that they’ve been able to fully redirect from themselves to a fidget or greatly decrease how much of the picking is happening on themselves! A win both ways!
The Stretchy Loom Picking Fidget works to give you the same “piiiiick” and “puuuuuull” and even “peeeel” feeling that other things do. Whether it’s a quick, snappy pick, a slow, consistent peel, or a pressure-filled long pull…this little cutey fits the bill.
Where Can I Use the Stretchy Loom Picking Fidget?
It’s been around since my craft shows! At the time, it was nearly impossible to find a fidget designed specifically for picking. Now, there are quite a few creators who have designed some pretty amazing picking tools! Many of them, however, aren’t good for on the go or out of the house. They are messy (which, honestly, is such a fun part of them haha). The great thing about this is how simple, but versatile it is. It can go anywhere. No mess. Want a mini version? We got that. Want a huge one? Got that, too. But my OG Loom Picking Fidget…it works great for work, school, commuting, church, meetings, movies, game nights, shopping, zoom meetings - anything and everything!
If your fingers are always searching for something...they aren't broken. They aren't "bad."
They might just be looking for a safer place to land.
That's exactly why I made the Stretchy Loom Picking Fidget.
Every fidget has a story. Every Friday, I'll share one.
Until next Friday,
Alissa
Comments